haix.. long time din blog liao.. think my blog turning rusty soon if im not going to update anything..
today went to my aunt hse before i went to work.. haix.. i suddenly feel like missing her. sch holiday started and my mum wanted me to be back home.. so din stay at my aunt hse recently..
haix.. she's been taking care of me since one month old.. she's like my second mum like that.. and my mum told me that im not going to stay dere anymore.. im quite piss off and sad.. mostly sad ba i think... imagine you hve been staying with someone for many years liao.. got some feelings de ma.. suddenly cant be with the person liao.. so when my mum keep bringing up this issue.. i will force myself not to hear anything from her.. mm.. pretending that i din hear anything ba i can say.. my aunt like kept asking me whether i will still be staying at her house when sch starts next year.. she was actually hoping i could.. staying in her house for 16 yrs liao leh.. who would bear to leave a person whom you have been staying with for 16 years le.. i really dun mind slping in the living room.. squeezing with the small kids... it makes me feel even more cosier i can say..
wad made me feel more sadder than ever is that i found out that my aunt's being so lonely at home.. her kids at work.. usually at night den come back.. her husband also at work too.. those kids that she usually babysit had gone home for good too.. the rest in childcare.. imagine how she past her time alone in the day.. i feel very sad.. and disappointed with myself..
ok.. today went to her hse.. den she wanted to go to my another aunt's shop to buy something.. she din want to go alone.. and she told me.."want go with me?.. im feel so bored going alone leh".. my heart really melted this time.. imagine how she coped in the house for all these times.. haiz..
i feel like crying..
besides that i also feel that my mum wasn't so approve of me to go my aunt hse dere too often like that.. today right after work.. erm.. midnight liao.. actually wanted to settle my supper at amk central and den stay overnight at my aunt hse de.. den she sort of not very happy.. haix.. at home.. she seems like jailing me like that.. saying "you not going back to stay at your aunt hse liao hor when sch starts.." haix.. maybe my mum scare that i will leave her for good.. where got any parents would want their kids to leave them de.. right?? maybe i should try to understand her too ba.. haix.. ok.. im really fan now..
to be continued..

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 2:08 AM